Friday, April 27, 2007

Ready For Silence - Rumi

I am about to go off for some days of contemplation, days of much needed solitude, solace and silence. So I will leave you to contemplate on some of Rumi's beautiful verses.
Ready for Silence

The devotional moon looks into the heart and is in the heart.
When the heart has a Friend like you, the universe cannot contain their pleasure. Anyone warmed by the sun feels courage coming in.
If grief arrives, you enjoy it. Generosity: that's your hand in my pocket giving your wealth away. Yet you run from me like one raised in the wild. He comes this strange creature: me, in a hand-and-feet shape! The formless tries to satisfy us with forms!
A transparent nakedness wearing pure light says, Blessed are those who put on gold brocade!
You may not see him,
but Moses is alive,
in this town, and he still has his staff! And there's water and thirst,
wherever and however water goes, and the one who brings water.
The morning wind broke off a few branches in the garden.
No matter, when you feel love inside you, you hear the invitation to be cooked by God.
Its that creation the heart loves.
For three winter months the ground keeps quiet. But each piece of earth knows what'sinside waiting: beans, sugarcane, cypress, wildflowers.
Then the spring sun comes talking plants into the open.
Anyone who feels the point of prayer bends down like the first letter of pray.
Anyone who walks with his back to the sun is following his own shadow. Move into your own quietness. This word-search poem has found you, ready for silence.
Why God Said He Loved Moses

One day God said to Moses, "My chosen one I love you."
Moses asked "Bountiful One, tell me what in me is the cause of your love for me, so that I may make it grow."
God replied, "You are like a child in the presence of its mother. When she chastises the child it still wraps its arms about her and loves her. The child knows of no one in the world but her, and finds all sorrow and joy from her presence. If she should be angry with the child it still comes to her, for it never seeks any help from anywhere else.
You are like this child Moses, for your heart never turns from Me to anyone else."


Heart sees the joy of early dawn, the breeze. What have you seen?

What have you not seen?

Sometimes, to plunge in a bewilderment ocean;

Sometimes to find the gray amber of whales deep in the mountain!

Hundreds of windows. Haze returns into the sea. My weeping eyes, wave by wave, mix with the ocean.

It becomes an eye. Both worlds, a single corn grain in front of a great rooster! One who wants, one who is wanted, the same. Who knows God? Someone through with La. No!

The broken lover knows about this.

Nobody in this robe but God.

Appear as you truly are.

Saladin, you are my soul, the eye that sees God.

The Lover's Passion

A lover knows only humility

He has no choice

He steals into your alley at night

He has no choice

He longs to kiss every lock of your hair

Don't fret

He has no choice

In his frenzied love for you

he longs to break the chains of his imprisionment

He has no choice.

Friday, April 20, 2007


I have posted 2 more chapters on Chapati Moments at Navel Gazing. The latest on Androo & Maya is at:

And the previous one "Uncle Veloo's Den of Disrepute" is at

I remember now why I started writing Chapati Moments. I had this idea after the Bench & Bar Games 2006 (see my earlier postings last year). I was writing about the antics of the Malaysian lawyer and the Singaporean lawyer who are both Indian men and in it, I started calling it my own Tamil movie where I was this character called Letchumy.

There are now 4 chapters of Chapati Moments posted in the Navel Gazing blog. Each are written in different styles. Its not done purposely. It just happened that way as even I don't know where its going and how it should be written each time. So we'll see where this goes...

Monday, April 16, 2007

Toade News: Death in the rainforest:

Our friends are dying. We are going extinct. Please check out these news in the UK times:

Fragile creatures give the world a new climate warning,,2058785,00.html
By the way what happened to those 2 we sent to Iraq on a "holiday"? They have yet to report anything .... Anyone seen them? See photos below. They are pretty adorable.

Now for some news. TOAD of the Week award goes to Paul Wolfowitz son of Jacob Wolfowitz from a family of Zionists. Paul Wolfowitz is the Chief Architect responsible for the illegal invasion of Iraq. He was rewarded by that big wolly President Bush who thereafter made him President of the World Bank. Now he is caught in a controversial scandal - he is the chief architect in promoting his own girlfriend who works in the World Bank - including handing her a big pay rise. We at Toade News say "Wot a big wolly he is thinking with his lil willy!" I betcha Ol' Jacob Wolfowitz is proud of his son now!

Advert: There are job vacancies at the Al Qaeda who are on a strong recruitment drive. Perks offered are life insurance coverage (which includes coverage for death caused by suicide), 7 weeks intensive weapons, munition and explosive training, lots of traveling etc. Interested applicants can apply to the following person at the following address:

Agent Smith, Human Resource Department, Central Intelligence Agency, Washington D.C. 20505.

Cheerio Folks!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Toade News

Before we start, we would like you to stare at the image above for ten seconds whilst moving your torso forwards & backwards in a rocking motion and say to yourselves "I will believe everything I read on Toad Exodus".

We at Toad Exodus do not have the time, energy, funds, military power, explosives or guns to manipulate your thinking process so our intelligence team of volunteer crackpots have devised a scheme to hypnotise our readers into instantly believing everything we write here.

Repeat after us repeatedly for the next half hour:

"a.President Bush is a war criminal.

b. Prime Minister Blair is a war criminal.

c. Prime Minister John Howard is a war criminal.

d. All persons above must be impeached and indicted for their war crimes."

Now for the news. The UK Times 12 April 2007 carries the following article by Matthew Parris "There's one man who must take the lie-detector test". He says:

"Politicians [in UK] have come up with a great idea. They now plan to subject us in Britain to US-style lie-detector tests." He called Prime Minister Tony Blair "the most consummate confidence trickster on the planet". Those who don't quite understand this sentence, let us simplify it for you - he called Blair a bloody liar. He also recommended that Blair be put on the lie-detector test at Prime Minister's Questions.

"If at noon on Wednesday the buzzer does not sound when Tony Blair speaks, then the whole technology can be scrapped as useless."

Meanwhile, the Guardian (same date) carries the headlines "Top Generals reject war tsar role for Iraq & Afghanistan". 3 retired generals approached by the White House about a new high-profile post overseeing the wars in Iraq & Afghanistan & reporting directly to the president have rejected the proposed post, leaving the administration struggling to find anyone of stature willing to take it on.

"The unwillingness of the generals to take the job undermines recent attempts by the Bush Administration to put a positive spin on the Iraq war. Mr Cheney [the ultimate consummate liar next to Bush] last week reiterated claims of links between al-Qaida and Saddam Husseins' Iraq in spite of newly released US intelligence assessments saying there had been no evidence. Mr Cheney also favours air strikes against Iran's nuclear sites. [Can somebody string this arsehole upside down by his balls? He's really pissing me off]. The US is still claiming that Iran is supplying Iraqi insurgents with explosive devices used in ambushes on US & British troops & that Iran is training insurgents to use the explosives. A Major General William Caldwell said the information had been gleaned from interrogation of detainees as recently as this month, some of whom said they had been in Iranina traning camps."

Yes, well, considering their interrogation techniques, anyone would admit to anything - even having sex with President Bush! err on second thoughts, maybe not that...

The Guardian also carries a report by the International Committee of the Red Cross which details "unbearable suffering of Iraqi civilians". According to the report, Iraqi civilians are experiencing "immense suffering" because of "disastrous" security situation, deepening poverty and a worsening humanitarian crisis. The ICRC also sees no sign that the American-led security "surge" in Baghdad is bringing relief to the capital. "The suffering the Iraqi men, women and children are enduring today is unbearable and unacceptable" Pierre Kraehenbuehl, director of operations for the organisation, said at the group's Geneva headquarters.

We at Toade News would like to remind you that the Iraqi people lived in peace and prosperity under the late Saddam Hussein and their lives have been shattered by the Americans and their coalition forces the British and the Australians for their own nefarious purposes.

Our friend Tina has taught us a special curse, which we feel should be repeated daily:

"May a group of diseased and hyperactive hedgehogs take up residence in the arses of Bush, Blair and Howard and all those who support them."

Tune in regularly for our alternative, upbeat & biased news. Cheerio folks.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Toade News: April 2007

We tried to post this news yesterday evening but there was some technical problem so here it is... a tad too late but good news anyway.

Those poor sods from Britain captured trespassing Iranian waters have been released. No more Shish Kofte and free flowing liquids for these lot. They have to go back to bonny England to their horrid smelly kippers (and I'm not talking about their women) and chips.

The Iranian president, Ahmadinejad said that Britain is not brave enough to admit their mistake but the Iranian people are magnanimous enough to forgive these poor sods and send them home by plane in business class.

The American vice president Dick Cheney (his parents must have had great forsight when they named him - knowing that he would grow up to be a major prick) said it was unfortunate that they were taken in the first place and that he hopes there was no deal being made. Hmmm, we think that is some side threat to the Brits. Blair insists that there was no deal being made - although, coincidentally, an Iranian diplomat who was kidnapped in Iraq earlier, was released on the same day. The Brits & Americans deny kidnapping him. yaddah, yaddah, yada... yeah, we believe you guys...

Ahmadinejad seems to be on some media publicity blitz, first putting those British captured naval crew on telly regularly, showing them enjoying the generous hospitality of the Iranian government, in their impromtu holiday in Tehran - assimilating very well with the Iranian culture, donning headscarves et al. The Brits are more flexible than the Americans. They do believe in the concept of "whilst in Rome do as the Romans do". Had it been an American naval crew that was captured, they would have insisted on eating burger & fries only or fried chicken and corn. Yeah, we think Ahmadinejad handled the whole situation very well, making Blair look like the shithead he really is.

Round One to Ahmadinejad!

Meanwhile, back at home... and we don't make it a practise to cover news at home as its rather boring (and you can read Malaysia Today for more interesting news, anyway), our Tan Sri Syed Mokhtar
is believed to have secured a mega oil and gas project in the construction of a whopping RM50 billion oil refinery and pipeline system in the northern Peninsula.

It is believed that the project will involve the participation of Syed Mokhtar, Iran's national oil company, UEM World Bhd and former Petronas executives. Heehee, hooray for Tan Sri Syed Mokhtar! Does he care about this stupid embargo imposed by the Americans & sanctions by the UN?

The Edge reports as follows:
"It is said the project involved the establishment of the refinery in Pulau Bunting in Kedah, and the construction of a 300km pipeline straddling Kedah, Perak and Kelantan.....It is said the project involved the establishment of the refinery in Pulau Bunting in Kedah, and the construction of a 300km pipeline straddling Kedah, Perak and Kelantan.... Operationally, the crude oil will be moored off Kedah, refined and transmitted through the pipelines to Kelantan and subsequently loaded on to tankers and shipped to Korea, China and Japan, bypassing Singapore."

This is the best news we've heard this week! 3 cheers for Kedahans! Meanwhile our Prime Minister is going on about protecting our country from terrorists... err what's up with him? Is he following that anal John Howard's footsteps, sucking up to that world terrorist Bush?

Ok, that's all for now folks. Tune in for more upbeat happy news on Toade News. We are off for our coffee break.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Toade News: April 2007

We at Toad Exodus (me and my colony of minions from the Swampland) have set up a newsroom to impart up to date world news of great interest to ourselves which we feel should be of great interest to you too. Due to budget constraints, our news are plagerised from other people's reports and not obtained independently by our foreign correspondents as "we ain't got any, mate". So you will see reports from other news agencies plastered here. However, we have managed to send out 2 unsuspecting fools from our Toad colony to the Middle East, telling them that they have won a lucky draw, ie a free trip to the historic nation of Iraq. We will be receiving reports from them on details of their "holiday" from time to time and have fully equipped them with a Nokia handphone each.

Now, today's news which should be of great interest to you, is on Iran and of course those blundering idiots, the United States (yeah, God Save America, indeed). Here are some snippets from the Independent by a Patrick Cockburn entitled "The Botched US Raid that led to the Hostage Crisis". (you see, even the British are calling the Americans bumbling fools and are blaming them for the recent capture of their sailors and marines).

"A failed American attempt to abduct two senior Iranian security officers on an official visit to northern Iraq was the starting pistol for a crisis that 10 weeks later led to Iraninas seizing 15 British sailors and Marines."

The report goes on to tell us that on January 11 this year, helicopter-born US forces launched a surprise raid on a long-established Iranian liaison office in the city of Arbil in Iraqi Kurdistan. "They captured five relatively junior Iranian officials whom the US accuses of being intelligence agents and still holds". hrrmmph, at this rate, even our tea lady in her dainty floral blouse would be accused of being an intelligence agent by these Americans. The Independent goes on to point out the British government's mismanagement of the whole situation "Better understanding of the seriousness of the US action in Arbil - and the angry Iranian response to it - should have led Downing Street and the Ministry of Defence to realise that Iran was likely to retaliate against American and British forces such as highly vulnerable Navy search parties in the Gulf." Hmmm ... search parties indeed. Another name for intelligence agents? Or illegal invaders' & occupiers' forces? The English language has been very much abused by the Americans and the British lately.

The Independent then reveals the US' real objective in the initial attack in Arbil. "The aim of the raid, launched without informing the Kurdish authorities, was to seize two men at the very heart of the Iranian security establishment." And who were these 2 much coveted persons they wanted to capture? Mohammed Jafari, the powerful deputy head of the Iranian National Security Council and General Minojahar Frouzanda, the chief of intelligence of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard (toad warning: doncha ever mess with these fellas). "The two men were in Kurdistan on an official visit during which they met the Iraqi President, Jalal Talabani, and later saw Massoud Barzani, the President of the Kurdistan Regional Government." The Independent goes on to make this very important statement - the attempt by the US to seize the two high-ranking security officers openly meeting with Iraqi leaders is akin to "as if Iran had tried to kidnap the heads of the CIA and MI6 while they were on an official visit to a country neighbouring Iran, such as Pakistan or Afghanistan".

"The US officials in Washington subsequently claimed that the five Iranian officials they did seize, who have not been seen since, were 'suspected of being closely tied to activities targeting Iraq and coalition forces'." The Independent then says "This explantion does not make any sense. No member of the US-led coalition has been killed in Arbil and there are no Sunni-Arab insurgents or Shia militiamen there."

Yeah, I mean, has anything the US has told us made any sense at all?? Its just a load of bullshit they are dishing out to us so that they can get away with mass killings and looting. We at Toade News will give you details of the US Looting Expedition in Iraq some time soon. Its our lunch break now and we have some flies to munch... Cheerio until the next news bulletin!
Chapati Moments: Part 2

This is going to be a short message but then again, I do tend to ramble on... so it may not be a short message (see, whaddiditellya?). Just to let you know that I posted Chapati Moments: Uncle Veloo's Vindaloo in Navel Gazing:

As I was half waking up late Sunday morning (very late Sunday morning) I felt the words pouring down into my head, literally pelting down like heavy rain. I had to scramble up quickly to look for pen & paper and write it as fast as I could. After a while, I got tired and just plopped back to sleep. Then I woke up again several hours later to jot down more & more words and so... that's how Uncle Veloo's Vindaloo was conceived. Without any warning. By the time I finally got out of bed to shower it was already 7pm! I hope this doesn't happen too often or I would have to give up my day job (... and I have a night job? you are wondering...).

Why Chapati Moments? you may wonder or you may not give a toss. Its not just a bit of fun. Its about people and their fetishes and things we do not want to know about. We all have our idiosyncracies and we think that's ok but when we hear other people's "alternative lifestyle" we start judging them or think they are disgusting. I'm sure there are loads of people who don't change their underwear everyday and loads who do turn their briefs inside out because they are too lazy to wash their undies. Oh, if you haven't read it yet, I don't wanna spoil it for you. Go read it first and I will write Chapati Moments : Raison D'etre another day. Go enjoy yourselves in whatever ways you want - but stay within the legal limits ok...

Monday, April 02, 2007

Rumi, Rumi, Rumi ...Listen to Rumi

You ask me what I want from you
I ask you to listen to Rumi
I ask you to stop protecting your heart
It is not your heart I want
It is your soul
Your heart is the window to your soul
So how can I reach your soul
If you keep on shielding it
So listen to Rumi
My dear.
(the Anomaly 3 April 2007)

Rumi: Love's Excess
(Prose preface to Book II of the Masnavi)

Someone asked "What is love?"
"Be lost in me" I said
"You'll know love when that happens."
Love has no calculating in it.
That's why it is said to be a quality of God
And not of human beings.
God loves you is the only possible sentence.
The subject becomes the object so totally that it can't be turned around.
Who will the 'you' pronoun stand for if you say "You love God"?

Rumi: Two Ways of Running

A certain man had a jealous wife and a very appealing maidservant.
The wife was careful not to leave them alone, ever.
For six years they were never left in a room together.
But then, one day at the public bath the wife remembered she'd left her silver basin at home.
"Please, go get the basin," she told her maid. The girl jumped to the task knowing she would finally get to be alone with the master.

She ran joyfully. She flew. Desire took them both so quickly they didn't latch the door.
With great speed they joined. When bodies blend in copulation, spirits also merge.
Meanwhile, the wife back at the bathhouse is washing her hair.
"What have I done! I have set cotton wool on fire! I've put the ram in with the ewe!"
She washed the clay soap and ran, fixing her chador about her as she went.

The maid ran for love.
The wife ran out of jealousy and fear.
There is a great difference.
A mystic lover flies from moment to moment.
The fearful ascetic drags along month to month.
The length of a day for a lover may be fifty thousand years!
There's no way to understand this with your mind. You must burst open!
Love is a quality of God.
Fear is an attribute of those who think they serve God,
but actually they are preoccupied with penis and vagina.
Rule-keepers run on foot along the surface.
Lovers move like lightning and wind.
No contest.
Theologians mumble, rumble-dumble, necessity and free will,
while lover and beloved pull themselves into each other.

The worried wife reaches the door and opens it.
The maid is disheveled, flushed, unable to speak.
The husband begins his five-times prayer. As though experimenting with clothes, he holds up some flaps and edges. She sees his testicles and penis so wet, semen still dribbling out, spurts of jism and vaginal juices of the maid.
The wife slaps him on the side of the head,
"Is this the way a man prays,
with his balls? Does your penis long for union like this?
Is that why her legs are so covered with this stuff?"

These are good questions.
People who repress desires
often turn, suddenly
into hypocrites.