Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Malaysian Lawyers' Egroup posting II: In Defence of the Single Professional Woman - Part II

Note: DA replied and this was my response to him. As you can see it was written before the Bench & Bar Games (see my earlier posting on the Bench & Bar Games 2006). After this response, DA & I sent some private emails to each other to clear any tension/misunderstanding. We are friends now (I hope) though we have not met & he seems a really decent chap doing his best to make this world a better place.

Caveat :This is an incredibly long email and of very low importance and it also contains quotations from a book/play - so please delete immediately if you have better things to do.
I apologise to everyone (especially DA) for posting my reply to DA here. A number of people from this Egroup (most of whom I don't know) have phoned and emailed asking me how DA responded to my emails particularly "In defence of the Single Professional Woman" and requested that I post it in this E-group as it was started here and according to them is a matter of "public interest". I even had irate husbands calling me, defending their "kupas mango" rights. DA, I didn't want to forward your emails and my response surreptitiously and have them ricochet to & fro within the legal fraternity without your knowledge. Anyway you have stated and defended your position very well and I feel its only fair that others should be aware of your stand instead of thinking that you are daft or have been dumped or "talking crap". So lets have it out in the open. I just spotted your email replying to "In defence of the Single Professional Woman" (I don't check my gmail regularly) - the gist of which is the same as "Malaysian women suffer apartheid" so my response to both emails is below.
My Dear DA,

There's no need to break out into a rash over this ( a dash of calamine lotion and a sip of chamomile tea might soothe you). Kindly dismount from your precarious perch atop you high horse before you fracture your collarbone. Ofcourse I read Marina's letter. The full text was emailed to me personally before the abridged version appeared in the BBC news. As I said in my email dated 10.3.06, I was not challenging what she said in her text.

As for reading other publications which you contribute to in order to ascertain where you are coming from and your stand on certain issues, I can't be expected to scour all available publications however obscure todiscover what your views are on these issues. For all I know, you might also be contributing articles to Nestle's Quarterly Review - commenting on how their New Improved Formula One Baby Milk Powder has caused the decline in the number of women breast feeding in this country! Do I need to develop a whole new science of interpretation on what Dev Anand means before I can comment on what you have written? As for referring to your contributions to Harakah, I'm afraid the "Harakah" is not on my "Preferred Reading List ". I'd rather not expose myself to Hadi Awang's (the Ayatollah of South East Asia) rhetoric and diatribe.

When you say you are "well married", I'm not sure what you mean by that. I can understand "happily married" but "well married"? When we say a person "married well" it suggests that the person married someone who is wealthy or of an important position (or both). Just thinking aloud, you don't have to answer that. I'm really not that interested in how well you are married. (Oh, I think you have explained it in your 2nd email).
By the way, do forgive me for not responding instantly to you emails. I was preoccupied with the manuscript for my new book entitled " Toad Exodus". No, I am not writing about your summer holidays with your fellow emasculated Malaysian men at Camp Bravo. Not everything is about you.

"SO DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW ABOUT WOMEN". Well hurrah for you! Not many men dare make such a lofty claim. As for your declaration "I fear no one except God, I will continue to write and express without fear or favour", I really don't feel that whatever I wrote merits such an impassioned outburst. Stop being such a drama queen. Heavens, there's no need to drag God into this. He has better things to do than to get embroiled in our little tete-a-tete.
Much as I would like to pursue this intellectual discourse and take it to the next level, I fear I may need to conserve my energy to fend off an onslaught of hate mail from Hadi Awang supporters and Harakah subscribers. However, from the gist of our enthusiastic repartee, I feel that we are fast becoming great friends. Perhaps we can settle this over a game of darts at the upcoming Bar Games in Langkawi (April 28,29 &30th). I assure you that you will win as I haven't a clue how to play darts. (Its not on my " Preferred Activity List"). If you don't know what I look like then kindly log on to the Malaysian Bar website, under Annual Dinner 2006 photos, last page (page 8) last picture. I am the one in the black & white polka dot outfit avec ribbon on my hair (supposedly my Mary Quant 60s look which sadly failed to convince or impress anyone...). If you are not attending the Bar Games, then feel free to print this picture and throw darts at it at your leisurely pleasure in the comfort of your own home. (The Harakah may also wish to publish this picture so that their readers may enjoy the same privileges. I recommend an hour of vigorous and aggressive dart throwing before you send me any hate mail).

Carry on writing DA! If I make the occassional jibe, it is merely out of sport. I don't mean to scoff at or belittle what you have written nor to offend. My friends say I have a wicked sense of humour though I do try to curb it, I fail miserably at times and someone has to bear the brunt of it. I apologise. I don't think you are stupid. In fact, can you direct me to the nearest sperm bank? I think its an excellent suggestion to cut out the middle man. (Sorry, there I go again - being irreverent).

To all the men out there, the next time you feel the need to exert your masculinity, I suggest you dig out your turbo-charged Black & Decker series 8000 and drill some nails into the wall or assemble some IKEA kitchen cabinets. Hanging out with your chums drinking beer somehow does not have the same impact.

And to those of you who rushed out to buy copies of "Pride & Prejudice", I'm afraid I have a slight amendment to make on my criteria for my ideal man. He should be reading "The Importance of Being Earnest" instead as I much prefer Oscar Wilde to Jane Austen.

To DA and all those I have offended (or bored with this long email or whose server has crashed because of this very long email), please accept my apology:-
"If we shadows have offended
think but this, and all is mended:
That you have but slumbered here,
While these visions did appear;
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend.
If you pardon, we will mend.
And as I am an honest puck,
If we have unearned luck,
Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue
We will make amends ere long,
Else the puck a liar call
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends"
Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream

See you at the Bar Games

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