My Heart

by the Anomaly

I have denied what I feel about you

Counting your flaws

Ignoring your virtues

To protect my heart

Whilst declaring loudly

that I always follow my heart

that I know what my heart wants

And it is not you,

I say to myself

Because you are not worthy of my heart

Nor even my thoughts.

I have even managed to convince myself

that I still love another

who is more worthy

But the truth is,

I realise now that

I have been denying my heart.

The truth is

when I stand next to you

my heart feels waves of pain

I am startled by that

But my heart does not lie

Only fear makes us deny what the heart feels

I tell my heart repeatedly

that you are not worthy

that there is another

more worthy

Another who would protect me

from your ignorant ways

Another who would not hurt me

like you do with your clumsy manner

Another who would treasure me

more than you are capable of

Who would protect me from

myself.

For my Beloved has revealed

that He will only bless my union

with the one

who loves me more

and not the one

whom I love more.

In that way, my Beloved

would have fulfilled His covenant to me

and I to Him

Understand, that I am only allowed

to be with those who are worthy

Understand, that I am not allowed

to throw pearls before a swine

So dear heart,

take heed of my plea

Be strong

Withstand the waves of pain

For the one you pine for

is not worthy of your love

He will hurt you

He will toss you about

with carelessness

if not cruelty

And this is forbidden

For you have made a covenant

to the Beloved.