Monday, May 21, 2007

Thank You to My Beloved
by the Anomaly
18 May 2007 night time

I finally passed the test
I finally learnt my lesson
I finally know
How to love myself.
To learn how to love yourself
You must first
Know who you are
You must know your value
and your worth
You must never let another person
determine your worth
and tell you who you are.
So I thank you,
my Master, my Guide,
my Beloved
for leading me to this path
to this knowledge
to this awareness.
To love yourself is to never allow anyone
to have control over your destiny
To never accept second best
To never be second best
Your soul belongs to Allah
Our Creator
Our Ultimate Love
Your life belongs to Allah
Never surrender your love and your life
to anyone else.
Know yourself and you will know Allah
Love yourself and you will love Allah
Love Allah and you will love yourself
It matters not which comes first
By the time you come to this realisation
You are nothing but a mirror
Allah's Beauty
Allah's Light
So learn to love yourself.
Do not accept a tarnished gift
For you are worthy of something better
Do not accept love in half measures
For you are worth
Much, much, much more than that
Do not accept insincere friendships
for they are worth nothing and you are priceless.
It is better to be alone
than to be with those
who do not know how to value you.
It is better to stay away from those
who do not know how to appreciate your worth.
They are not worth a single tear in your eye.
Finally I learnt and practised all this.
I have passed the test.
Thank you thank you thank you
My Love
for leading me here.
My chains are broken
I am finally released.
I finally know:
how to live
how to love
My burdens are gone
I am ready to live
I am ready to love another
How can you love another
when you do not know how to love yourself?
How can you value others
when you do not value yourself?
And today I have proven it
I love myself
I value myself
Thank you my Love.

The poetry above was inspired after going through a tough period for the past 2 weeks. I had come to realise that 2 people whom I am very fond of, whom I trust, whom I regarded as my friends have betrayed my trust and are not sincere to me. I struggled with myself - do I ignore it, accept them as they are and accept the half measures they mete out insincerely?

Then I realised - there is a difference between accepting people as they are and the treatment they show you. Accepting them as they are means not judging them and letting them be who they are and allowing them to find their own way. Eventually, we hope they will get there. But we don't have to suffer in their ignorance and accept their treatment.

So I stepped out of this circle of their ignorance and contempt.

What a release that was. To not be stuck in this vicious circle. I thought I would be upset and distraught over this. But all I felt was a sense of emptiness. I was worried. I thought I must be numb. But its night time now and I still don't feel anything. Just a sense of relief that I don't have to think about this anymore. I don't have to get upset over their behaviour anymore.

Then I realised - I finally liearnt my lesson which God was trying to teach me since 2000. I learnt to love myself.

So thank you God for this revelation, for this gift. It took me seven years of pain to learn. Seven years of joy. Seven verses in the Fatihah - The Heart of the Koran.

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