Thursday, April 05, 2007

Toade News: April 2007

We tried to post this news yesterday evening but there was some technical problem so here it is... a tad too late but good news anyway.

Those poor sods from Britain captured trespassing Iranian waters have been released. No more Shish Kofte and free flowing liquids for these lot. They have to go back to bonny England to their horrid smelly kippers (and I'm not talking about their women) and chips.

The Iranian president, Ahmadinejad said that Britain is not brave enough to admit their mistake but the Iranian people are magnanimous enough to forgive these poor sods and send them home by plane in business class.

The American vice president Dick Cheney (his parents must have had great forsight when they named him - knowing that he would grow up to be a major prick) said it was unfortunate that they were taken in the first place and that he hopes there was no deal being made. Hmmm, we think that is some side threat to the Brits. Blair insists that there was no deal being made - although, coincidentally, an Iranian diplomat who was kidnapped in Iraq earlier, was released on the same day. The Brits & Americans deny kidnapping him. yaddah, yaddah, yada... yeah, we believe you guys...

Ahmadinejad seems to be on some media publicity blitz, first putting those British captured naval crew on telly regularly, showing them enjoying the generous hospitality of the Iranian government, in their impromtu holiday in Tehran - assimilating very well with the Iranian culture, donning headscarves et al. The Brits are more flexible than the Americans. They do believe in the concept of "whilst in Rome do as the Romans do". Had it been an American naval crew that was captured, they would have insisted on eating burger & fries only or fried chicken and corn. Yeah, we think Ahmadinejad handled the whole situation very well, making Blair look like the shithead he really is.

Round One to Ahmadinejad!

Meanwhile, back at home... and we don't make it a practise to cover news at home as its rather boring (and you can read Malaysia Today for more interesting news, anyway), our Tan Sri Syed Mokhtar
is believed to have secured a mega oil and gas project in the construction of a whopping RM50 billion oil refinery and pipeline system in the northern Peninsula.

It is believed that the project will involve the participation of Syed Mokhtar, Iran's national oil company, UEM World Bhd and former Petronas executives. Heehee, hooray for Tan Sri Syed Mokhtar! Does he care about this stupid embargo imposed by the Americans & sanctions by the UN?

The Edge reports as follows:
"It is said the project involved the establishment of the refinery in Pulau Bunting in Kedah, and the construction of a 300km pipeline straddling Kedah, Perak and Kelantan.....It is said the project involved the establishment of the refinery in Pulau Bunting in Kedah, and the construction of a 300km pipeline straddling Kedah, Perak and Kelantan.... Operationally, the crude oil will be moored off Kedah, refined and transmitted through the pipelines to Kelantan and subsequently loaded on to tankers and shipped to Korea, China and Japan, bypassing Singapore."

This is the best news we've heard this week! 3 cheers for Kedahans! Meanwhile our Prime Minister is going on about protecting our country from terrorists... err what's up with him? Is he following that anal John Howard's footsteps, sucking up to that world terrorist Bush?

Ok, that's all for now folks. Tune in for more upbeat happy news on Toade News. We are off for our coffee break.

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